firetower sunrise 2

after night, comes a light.

"the daylight seems to want you, just as much as i want you."

i grew up

two years ago today.

the boy in the alley. nairobi. pre-dawn streets. blood everywhere, intermingled with trash and broken glass. body shaking. face convulsed in pain. and that single tear that went down his cheek silently.

it took me a month, but eventually i wrote about it. or tried to. i had nothing to say, so i tried to say everything.

basically, the mob beat him. accused of stealing, he was beaten to the ground and stoned and kicked. we found him barely alive. his brother, wild with glue, had come to find us screaming for help. so we found the broken body in a back alleyway, and took him to the hospital, but i've always suspected he didn't make it because of internal bleeding and blunt force trauma to the head.

yeah, it sucks. but i never want his story to be suppressed. i don't even know his name, but that was a life, worth more than anything material in this world.

there's still 300,000 street children in Kenya alone. street children are a product of the desperation of extreme poverty. let's do something about that. i don't have all the answers, but i know that in light of the excess at our fingertips, that is wrong. it's estimated that 20 billion dollars would alleviate world hunger. 20 billion dollars is equal to 9 days of global spending on weapons and defense. and we will spend 47 billion dollars on ice cream this year.

why? why is it that those children on nairobi's streets use glue to get high so they don't feel hunger pains when 9 days of military spending around the world would feed the world's hunger? it seems elementary that we could give up 9 days of building more bombs to feed the hungry.

why hasn't it already been done?

it will take you.me.all.of.us.

facebook's latest

My roommate just showed me how the latest newest most bestest more
better greatest more connected more powerful more exciting and smarter
facebook now gives you suggestions on who you should catch up with,
whose wall you should write on, and other things you should do in your
virtual world.

The implications of that are just terrifying, and absolutely ridiculous.

I really just want to learn what it means to truly be present.

Firetower sunrise

even the sunset...

...seemed tainted tonight with the knowledge that it's beauty comes
from the destruction of our world by the same beings that deem it
beautiful.

choosing a book to read...

just reminds me of all the paradoxes and dichotomies and confusing strings pulling at me from all directions. do i choose the revolutionary and anarchist fiction, or the theological treatise, or the history of revolution or oppression, or the social commentary, or the radical christian autobiography, or the literary masterpiece, or the photodocumentary, or the postmodern literature, or academic essay on the world's issues and possible solutions? or do i choose the children's book?

do i work to become an activist, a pastor, a leader of a social movement, an NGO worker, a radical Christian community member, a writer, a photographer, an artist, or an activist? or do i try to escape? or in the case of the last, is that choice actually the choice just to love?

the indecision of the paradox of choice freezes us from everything i believe. one choice or the other isn't going to matter in the end, because the importance is in the love and the grace one might give in any of those things.

the choice for today: les miserables.

soundtrack: brian eno- "ambient 1 music for airports."

walk on...

I saw U2 in concert with Muse on Tuesday. I was in the floor section with some friends, and we were about 20 feet from the outer ring of U2's epic stage. Sometimes those moments when you feel God talking to you, or you feel connected to everything, or something makes sense again seem few and far between... Tuesday night I had multiple moments like that... More later, but for now:

"And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage that you can bring...
Is all that you can't leave behind."

a day in the life of a college student?

This morning I took a shower.

And seconds after I got out of the shower, my suitemates burst into my room with me standing all proud and long-legged in my boxers chasing a snake that had apparently crawled out of the shower drain seconds after I got out of the shower.

He stayed content in our warm room all day, and my roommate just found him. They thought it was a water moccasin, but it was actually a baby copperhead.

I caught him and threw him into the woods, but seriously?

What would you do if you were taking a shower and a snake crawls up through the shower drain while you're shampooing your hair?

Eeeeek!

It is amazing to me how different life was two years ago... Last
spring too.

And how much I miss those times for different reasons.

And want now to change.